What I learned in 9 months


This isn’t about pregnancy. I think that would be a lot more fun to write about. After all, it has a beautiful ending.

My last nine months were unbelievable. After being somewhat estranged from my parents for years, I was thrown into a tailspin after receiving a phone call notifying me that my father was in the hospital in New Mexico. He had developed an infection from surgery to fix a broken leg. As an only child, I carried the burden of making all the decisions. My mom is disabled as a result of a stroke and has some cognitive limitations and is unable to cook or drive.

So at the beginning of the school year I found myself leaving unexpectedly and had no idea when I’d be back. I flew west to the land of enchantment (fancy word for desert) and had no idea what to expect. I went right to the hospital to meet the doctors. After seeing the man who sort of resembled my father, I was reunited with my mother. A few hours later I had to tell her that my dad had passed away. My head was spinning as I realized all that needed to be done and that I was the only one who could do it.
I had no idea if my parents had any money, mortgages, or loans. After going to the house, I became a detective searching for clues. I had the mail forwarded to me and when I got home I made files that covered my entire dining room table. I took a leave of absence from work and made a total of 3 trips to NM before moving my mom to an assisted living facility 10 minutes from my family. Looking back at the entire journey I’ve taken, it’s surreal. I sold my dad’s car, had an estate sale, sold their 2 houses, and am now the conservator and legal guardian for my mom.

It has been an emotionally draining experience. My mom is 69 years old and suddenly I’m in charge of her. It has also been a big adjustment for her.

As crazy as all this has been, now that all the hard stuff is over, I am able to think about the future. I know there will be more bumps in the road, but for now I’m going to focus on the good that has come out of all this. My mom is in my life again and my children know their other grandmother!


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